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As usual life was going as common how should for a teenager, but suddenly one day new set of thoughts started incoming for him, it was like a bucket full of thoughts flowing outta closed bucket inside the the main room of brain which the teenager had to throw away but it retained there. Everybody said its normal just ignore. He searched for help with friends, professors, parent’s & relation. Everyone tried to console but no one had any idea that teenager was going through. People dint believe, some professor said it was like to escape from college he is saying such stories, that teenager was blamed! Few friends helped and parents weren’t much aware of , eventually that teenager stayed away after few of his close friends left away.

What more could parents do, they tried their best, took medications it took time for him to overcome the thoughts, but life itself was depressive for him after the thoughts entered. After explaining the thoughts for e.g. he explains suicidal thoughts to someone since because has been said or discussed with someone else he was afraid or obsessed that he will attempt. The same set of thoughts after explaining to people, when people don’t comment or help he gets an obsession why he or she dint console me , is he or she happy that such a thoughts, since because they are happy should he attempt suicide, it questioned. How tough it is, isn’t ?

What mistake did he do? Why was he chosen for this OCD. Its not about locking the doors nor hand washing as the internet article or newspaper claims. It’s a new set of intrusive world which he hates. The irrelevant questions during work, irrelevant questions during driving repetitive questions like Tom Hardy in venom movie? If not watched watch the 1st part. Is it past life regression or a punishment for the sin by saints as shown in movies or karma of past life? The forward loop of time running in backwards about regrets in past about the thoughts with the thoughts in present state. These are the real life dementors as shown in Harry Potter movie. But people don’t believe his parents believed itself after 10 years, and he left his few of his friends and his friends left him too. Not sure but this is what is moving forward it seems.

A small flow chart to explain how the thoughts disturb a person with OCD. In a matter of seconds million questions million thoughts it will question and nobody knows why such questions happen. Is it another person? No.

Though everyone gets thoughts at some point of time they have the tendency to ignore, forget and move on. People with OCD cannot forget their thoughts which further leads to anxiety, depression and what not? In other words if they have forgotten their thoughts the thoughts will haunt you after few seconds or the negative incident happens. For eg He used to say he avoids roadside teashop since being afraid that he may smoke, so he never drinks tea in such places, the thoughts question whats wrong in smoking? If the thoughts that has to be thrown out is being repeatedly questioned it will start haunting. Consider the above 5 thoughts a bucket of nodes are being repeated at certain point of time he becomes tired. Now these nodes questions him many times just imagine his state of mind, the bucket of nodes he hated planned to throw away. A same thought may question him millions of time. That’s OCD getting out of a single thought and moving on itself gets tough sometimes. Doctors say circuit problem or your car doesn’t have brake or brake failure which leads to accident. Similar wise your circuit is unable to stop. Leaving those mech apart why was he selected by the God for it? Answer is God knows, But where is God ?

What to do, life has to go on. Saints or God to ask where are they, any higher order saint who could explain the past so that could rectify karma where are they living? Don’t know. He says feels like crying he couldn’t, he says its like being inside closed tunnel gets panic attack when thoughts come, doctors say there is no cure for it but they can be treated. Nobody has these answer for these Why? Sometimes I just feel that people are going beyond Humanity for the sake of paper called money postponing health, even the simplest joy of happiness that they see in little wonders. So I informed him money is required but health is more than money. Take care buddy, Live your life tell whatever it is, A paper shouldn’t only determine humanity! Health is equally important for everyone and those papers doesn’t determine happiness. Health and happiness cannot be bought at any shop, and asked him not to worry. Give your best and don’t worry if you fail.


Raam Vignesh MV

IG handle: @raam_mv

(Raam Vignesh MV is a budding Entrepreneur who loves to write stories and make films. He has an immense interest in science fiction. He has published his short story book on kindle direct publishing. )

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